The American Dream

God help me for this.

I always read about these blogs going viral. 

"An Open Letter to My Cheating Spouse"

"Life as a Dead Man's Daughter"

"Why Marriage is Dead"

"I Refuse to be Politically Correct"

...blahblahblah

All relevant.

All needed to be said.

All from one person's perspective and filled with the writer's opinion. As it should be.

Up until this point my blog has been mainly for myself. To share memories of my Father and gab on about my perfect little slice of heaven (my daughter, Roslyn...duh) and other things here and there. 

Tonight I came to-well what I think-was a strange realization.

It is Saturday night. A few years ago Petey and I would be getting in touch with our friends and seeing what there was to do. We would meet at each other's houses or downtown at a cool bar. We would grab a late dinner and have drinks and bar hop until we stumbled into McDonough's where I would proceed to belt out whatever karaoke tune I fancied to a willing crowd of blithering idiots just like me. We would saunter over to the buffet across the street and clumsily make our way home with cheese grits stuck to our chins.

Tonight is different.

I am sitting at my kitchen table. It is covered in books, index cards, 3-ring binders and study guides. My eyes burn with the anticipation of laying my head on a pillow and watching an episode of Mad Men on Netflix. The baby is asleep and I have successfully gone another day without detrimentally injuring her (or her soul) and managing not to burn my house down of drown in dog hair.  Mentally...the LAST thing I want to do is study Pathophysiology. Why am I torturing myself?

Because I want the American Dream. 

Call me selfish. Tell me I already have it. I have a great job, a hot husband who makes me laugh, and amazing family and a perfect daughter.  The blessings are undeserved. There are Tons of friends, a full belly (and muffin top, le sigh) and a beautiful home to hang my hat. But I am thirsty. I want more because my Father taught me that I can get more. Life is a lemon you squeeze every drop of juice out of before it's a shriveled up rind in the garbage. 

GO FOR IT

but not without blood, sweat, tears (oh hell yeah), sacrifice and WORK. 

I don't get to go out on Saturday night for a while. 

No buying that sweet pair of ankle booties with leopard print calf hair.

Buh-Bye nightly Jeopardy and Netflix binges. 

You are studying. You are leaving work and rushing to get into class afterwards and forcing your eyelids to remain open. You are missing precious story time and bath time sing-a-longs with your baby. You aren't going on Vacation. You are scrutinizing every hour of your paycheck and getting clammy when the bills are due and your tuition is as well.

I promise it will be worth it. In 1.5 years when you smile up at your beautiful family in the stands of a stadium or arena, lightly touch the silky hood on your graduation gown and accept that Masters degree from your department head, you will smile. When boards are passed and the job hunt is finished, there will be laughter. Why did I complain? That was over before I knew it! You are finally where you said you'd be when you were 17 years old. You have followed your dream and made your loved ones damn proud. You deserve that vacation, those shoes and that job.

But when I stop and think about it, I wonder.

It's kind of bold.

You have probably thought it.

Maybe heard your parents mumble about it over creamed peas or hot coffee?

The American Dream is dying.

It is a slow and painful death. A public execution being watched my millions of Americans. We are standing in Town Square and watching our greed, the frayed noose, slowly but surely tighten around our paraben-free moisturized whiny little necks. 

The killer? It's us. U.S. The United States citizens.

The American Dream didn't come from an open hand or a check in the mail. It doesn't owe you (or anybody) an apology or feel sorry for you and your born circumstances. It believes in you no matter how much you don't believe in yourself. It is out there waiting for you, coaxing you with its' well manicured finger. It expects you to make sacrifices. It knows your family is going to make sacrifices too. It is beckoning you. Pleading with you, to be the best you can be and earn (that's right, EARN) the life you want and deserve. 

It won't come easy. It wants you to understand that happiness and the life you dream about doesn't happen overnight. It wants to scream at you and tell you that instant gratification, greed and whining is suffocating her. It doesn't come with a loan or special privilege because your parents made bad decisions. It wants to shake you and hold you by the shoulders and say, "YOU ARE AN AMERICAN. THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER AND YOU ARE THE PEARL"!!! But the shell is hard to open. It isn't steamed and cracked so you can slide your knife in and drink it's juices. You must cut your finger-several times- and figure out how to make it unfold. You will have to do things you might not want to do when you don't feel like doing them. It doesn't feel sorry for you. 

The American Dream is yours for the taking. This land is full of opportunity. YOUR opportunity.

It will be worth it.

Repeat after me.

It will be worth it.