Real Talk

 

 

So I want to take a moment and talk about something besides myself. The other thing going on in my life that you will hear about. My Dad.

 

Those of you who already know me, know that this man as been (and always will be) a HUGE part of my life. You don't think a daughter could love her father more until you get big news. I'm not going to call it bad news, just weird news.

 

A month ago, (March 7th), Petey and I were driving home from Florida. We've just returned from a cruise to celebrate our anniversary when I got a call from my Mom's cell. Weird enough on its' own...that woman NEVER has that thing on her to say the least, let alone ON.

 

Me: "Mom"?

 

Mom: "Honey? Are you driving"?

 

Me: "What's wrong"?

 

(insert long pause)

 

Mom: "Dad has brain cancer"

 

Me: (insert wounded animal sounds) "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS??"

 

Mom: "Katherine, don't do this. (continue wounded animal, picture amputated hippo in African plain)  you cannot do this. I need you to be strong for me and for your Dad".

 

I passed the phone over to Petey. I couldn't even hold the phone. The combination of choking back vomit and hysterically crying got in the way. I mean, cancer is worse than some of my favorite four letter words alone...but BRAIN cancer? This is my Daddy, my hero, the sweetest man on earth who has done nothing but give me anything he could since I entered the world! How could God be so cruel and choose this man to suffer? Right before he and my Mother were supposed to retire and travel the world together?!?! Petey drove me home in the rain and even made me English muffin mini pizzas to cheer me up. You know men, 'food good. Eating good'. The next few days were emotional and foggy. Juggling school, working full time, being 12 weeks pregnant... I was going home that weekend to tell my family the exciting news...but how could anyone be happy? How selfish could I be to bring it up?

 

Let's fast forward to present day.

Thanks to a team of wonderful doctors and a brother who happened to inherit a lot more of my Dad's Cuban fire than myself, my Dad has already finished a round of radiation to his brain and he has started his first round of chemotherapy. The power of prayer and my Dad's positive attitude is working. My Dad is feeling great and his doctor has given us a lot more time and a much better outlook that we thought. Yes, he has Stage IV Metastatic Lung Cancer. Yes there are still days I have to stop what I am doing, sit down and wipe the tears away. Every time I think about him suffering, the feeling of sadness ignites in my veins and leaves me breathless. Life is still a roller coaster of pure happiness and deep sadness. I know that I have to learn to be less selfish with those I love and focus on keeping myself healthy.

 

My parents are ecstatic to be Grandparents. My Mom did the typical "OH MY GAWWWDDD" screaming and I caught my Dad wiping away a tear. My brother and sister-in law dropped their jaws. It was perfect. My Mom even told me that in a moment of quiet later on that night, she and my Dad shared a long embrace and my Dad whispered to her, "It's about time we're Grandparents". My Mom says that every time she is sad, she thinks about the baby and feels overwhelmed with joy. I can't help but think that God gave us this baby for a reason. We DEFINITELY weren't planning on having children just yet, but this is the positivity and reason to smile we needed. We are carrying on and much more positive and upbeat than a few weeks ago. We have the thing we didn't think we had. Time. My Daddy is going to get better and he is going to retire and live out the rest of his days happy with my Mom, golfing and traveling.

 

I know that this child will share naps on my Dad's chest while he sleeps in his recliner just as I did. I accept that he/she might not get to share a dance with him at their wedding, but I know that my children will know my Father and love and admire him as I do. What else can you ask for?